Let’s talk about something that’s driving me absolutely freaking insane in the online space right now: email marketing. Not email itself. But the attitudes around it.

The hate for email is out of control. Every week, I see another online conversation full of people swearing they’ll never give their email address, freaking out over getting a follow-up, or acting like getting an email is a personal attack.

I’ve had it.

So yeah, this post is part rant. But it’s also strategy, because email still works when it’s done right. The real problem? People are doing it wrong.

Stop Acting Like Email Is the Enemy

Let me preface this with something important:
I get it.
I get that people are getting spammed. I get that inboxes are overflowing with garbage. I get that it’s annoying when someone adds you to a list you never asked to be on. That stuff sucks.

But when it’s business owner to business owner, solopreneur to solopreneur, AND someone’s not being a jerk about it, can we all take a breath?

Because here’s what makes absolutely zero sense:
You’ll stay on the email list for your favorite store for years. You’ll tolerate three emails a day during their sales. You’ll wait for coupon codes.
But the second a small business owner sends you a single follow-up email after you opt in for a freebie?

Suddenly it’s, “I can’t believe they’re clogging my inbox.”

The double standard is ridiculous.

You Want the Free Value? Give the Email.

If someone is offering you their intellectual property for free: a workshop, a worksheet, a download, you are not entitled to that without some form of exchange. And guess what? Your email address is not that big of a deal.

What are we doing here if we can’t even exchange contact info for value?

I recently created an extended worksheet for a talk I’m giving: something deeper, something useful, and people literally said, “Yes, I want it… but I don’t want to opt in.”

What?

If you want the thing, then respect the exchange. If I’m pouring my time, energy, and expertise into giving you something, then at the very least, I should be able to follow up with you.

This is not about spamming. This is about connection.
Email is how we continue the conversation.

The Real Problem? Lazy, Spammy Strategy.

Here’s where email marketing actually goes wrong:

• Adding people without consent. It’s not just crappy, it’s illegal. If someone didn’t opt in, don’t add them.
  
• No disclaimer on opt-ins. You need to clearly state what someone is signing up for.
  
• Aggressive, daily welcome sequences. Stop. Nobody wants to hear from you every day for a week straight after one download.
  
• No personalization, no value, no relationship-building. If your emails feel like mass blasts and nothing else, don’t be surprised when people unsubscribe.

Email isn’t broken. The strategy is.

How do you make email marketing work without being spammy?

• Get consent, always. Use checkboxes, disclaimers, and clear language. Be transparent from the start.
  
• Set the tone from the first email. Don’t blow up their inbox. Be human. Offer value. Build trust.
  
• Let them choose what they hear from you. Give options to opt out of certain emails. Respect preferences.
  
• Keep it personal and consistent. Real stories. Real voice. Real connection.
  
• Don’t take unsubscribes personally. They’re just saying, “Not for me right now.” That’s fine. Let them go.
  

Business Owners: Support Each Other

If you’re in someone’s audience, and you opted in to something, don’t turn around and act shocked when you get an email. If it’s not a fit, unsubscribe. If it’s not a good time, delete it. But don’t complain like you didn’t know it was coming.

And if you’re the one sending emails: remember, strategy matters. Lead with value. Respect your list. Build a real relationship.

We’re all out here doing our best. We’re pouring our heart into what we create.
So if someone gives you something meaningful, and all they ask in return is a spot in your inbox? That’s not spam. That’s business.

One Last Thought

You send DMs all the time, right? You don’t always ask permission first. You just do it, and it works. Email is the same thing.

The inbox is still one of the most personal, direct ways to build trust and connection if you treat it like the privilege it is.

So if you’ve been avoiding email because of what other people might think, or because you’ve seen it done wrong…

Do it better.

That’s what your audience deserves.
That’s what your business needs.
And that’s what actually works.

Want help building a real strategy behind your content, offers, and communication?
Check out The Missing Piece and let’s map it out together.